hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I have tasted many bathrooms
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
