Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
