the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize