What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
