Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
