Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Its about making memories worth repressing
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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