lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
