ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
