doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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