From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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