there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
