My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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