i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
