Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
