I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
