I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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