You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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