I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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