I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I CAN MOONWALK!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
