Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Randomize
