ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
