my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
