i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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