Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
