you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
