Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
