Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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