Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
