let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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