your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
