We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
