do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
