so that wasnt chicken after all
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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