Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
