Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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