I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You ate ashes out of my bong
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
