But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
two words...techno handjob
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
