ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
