If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
this will be a night to untag.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
