nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
