I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
