I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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