i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Mom said you looked used
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
