You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Randomize
