My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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