I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
