dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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