The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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