He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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