HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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