Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
