Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
