Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
